Love or Lust...

I pray a couple years past and I can say I loved her from the start. She looks like everything I've ever wanted. Like patience and happiness. Like commitment and faith. She looks like the rest of my life. I want to give her everything, and I pray I can look back at this in 5 or 10 years and say I did.

Please Send love

   My heart hurts. I feel physical pain. It could have been me. It could have been DC or LA or SF. This is my life, my community, my country. This the world we live in. This is Us. Our generation, our actions, our loss, our pain.

   I'm scared. I am so scared. I feel helpless and hopeless. We exist in this cycle of hurt and hate and all we can do is pray for the people that loss their lives.

   ...And then go back to our state of consciousness where we block it out and pretend like it's not going to happen again. Pretend like this isn't the world we live in. I am praying for Orlando, but more than anything I am praying for mankind. For love and acceptance and tolerance, consciousness and understanding. I am praying that we can do better.

I want to love myself a little better..

I believe that there’s magic in misery. That there is victory in discomfort. I want so bad to love myself a little better. I want to wake up tomorrow and actually believe in better. I want to believe that people want to do good. That they love the people around them. That they are innately sound in their intentions. I want to feel like the majority of mankind does their best not to hurt the people around them. I want to believe that the people I don’t know and will probably never meet will spend the rest of their lives surrounded by crazy amounts of love. That they won’t feel depression or hurt and that they never feel alone. I want people to be hopeful and truly believe that circumstances can and will always improve. Not just for the world but also for themselves.

I think Self-reflection is a learned trait. Something that not everyone takes time to do. Reflection and an increase in consciousness give us an opportunity to forgive and accept the circumstances around us. Reflecting on how you take control and change and improve in your life are actions that result in giving yourself power. Power over all the things in life that don’t go your way and the people that aren’t kind to you.

I encourage you to give yourself more credit. It’s hard to live in 2016. It’s hard to love yourself. It’s hard to turn the corner or change the channel without internalizing the comparisons the world forces you to pay attention to. We’ve turned society into a grading scale and every day you walk out of the door someone is going to grade you. The challenge is choosing whether or not to accept that grade and validate that judgement.

So I say Love yourself. Love everything about you that they say is wrong. Love the abnormalities. All the things that aren’t desirable. Love them until the popularity contest shifts. This world is revolving around popularity. Popularity which roots from confidence. Confidence which roots from relevance, and relevance which is simply a result from obnoxious media momentum.

We make up what is acceptable and worthy of love. We determine social supremacy. So the power is within us. We can choose to change what is popular simply by starting to love the things and people that society doesn’t celebrate. So be different. Be weird. Be too big, too small, black, white, poor, crazy. Be whatever you want.  Just don’t be sad and don’t try to fit in.