It is so important to me that non POC understand that BLM is not a threat to all lives. I cannot express or explain this enough. BLM and the presence of systemic racism does not mean that if you aren’t black you haven’t had a hard life or you don’t have struggles.
It does not mean that ONLY black lives matter.
It does not mean that the lives of cops do not matter.
It does not mean that the lives of cops do not matter.
It simply means that the lives of black people are devalued by so many people in this country and in the world which leads to tragedies and injustice like the murder of George Floyd and an overwhelming long list of others.
The BLM movement represents that as a white person the color of your skin has not played a part in your personal struggles nor has it made your life harder in the way that it does for POC.
My hope is is that my friends and allies use this time to listen quietly and learn from the experiences of POC. That they recognize their privilege as well as realizing that having that privilege does not make you a bad person. It does not mean that you are assumed a racist or that years and years of racism is your fault. I hope that my friends learn about more than just the death of George Floyd. I hope that they look backwards to see all the other countless POC that were taken from their families unjustly and see that all of those lives, as a whole, are how we have gotten here. It is so important that people know that this is not solely about one man and police brutality. This pain is so much deeper and seeps so much further into every aspect of our lives.
For me, this is about what little black girls feel when they play on all white soccer teams their whole life, while teammates parents ask them why they didn’t play basketball.
It’s about little black girls who avoided the pool at an early age because they soon realized that once their hair got wet they were different and now the subject of everyone’s jokes.
It’s about being a young black kid with red eyes from allergies not wanting to go anywhere because people accuse them of smoking weed.
It’s about proving yourself time and time again, but still being underestimated every math class in every university and at every job you have ever walked into.
It’s about how fast my heart beats anytime I accidentally leave the house without my ID.
Or what it’s like to move across the country for grad school and struggle to make friends because of the color of my skin. Whats it’s like to walk the campus of that school when “Nigger” is frequently plastered all over the free expression tunnel.
It’s about the anger my wife and I feel when people constantly ask me for help in retail stores because they assume that I must work there.
I realize that these are scenarios that most of you haven’t even thought about, but the saddest part about that is even with all the discrimination I have felt in my life, it still does not add up to what black men like George Floyd go through everyday. Despite what fear and pain I have experienced, I still have more privilege than George Floyd and it is my duty just like yours to recognize that.
I want my allies to know that this is my everyday life, and although I don’t blame you for it, I charge you with the effort of trying to learn it and help fight against it.
I want to make it known that nothing about this murder is new. The anger and sadness you are just now feeling about George Floyd, I have felt over and over for countless others. I don’t have to research their names and their stories because I have the life of Tamir Rice, Stephon Clark, Trayvon Martin and Oscar Grant engraved in my mind. I will forever have visions and nightmares of the beautiful life that was taken from them, the image of what they could have become, and the idea that that could have been me jogging, my cousin walking or my dad on the BART.
We are all guilty of ignorance about something, and if you have been ignorant on this topic, it does not mean that I don’t appreciate you. It doesn’t mean that you checking in on me doesn’t give me peace and make me hopeful, but please know that checking on your black friends and posting black squares needs to be followed up with diligent education on the problem. We need continued listening and learning. We need relentlessness in defending POC and their right to equality. We need you to step up to those who ignore their privilege and exacerbate the problem. We need persistence to fight the problem until the problem no longer exists.
There are so many people in my life who are not POC who have changed my life for the better. People who have believed in me and gave me opportunities when no one did. I think that is is so important to recognize the people that have raised me up and supported me in addition to the people who have discriminated against me.
My Former college coach was the first person to ever defend me and invest in my value. The women I have played soccer with my entire life have been predominantly white and I would not be who I am without them. My first boss when I became a data scientist was also white and repeatedly told me I was good enough while always showing me patience and grace. And although My wife has never been mistreated based on her skin color, she defends me constantly and reminds me and others how important it is to fight for equality.
I want my non POC friends and family to know how much I love them. How much they have changed my life and I appreciate them, but also want them to know how much more I need from them in this space.
To my POC:
I recognize that as a people we have been so patient and accommodating. I know that some people don’t have any patience left to give, but I also know that this fight cannot be fought without the support of all mankind. I ask that we give our allies time to listen and learn. That we are receptive to people that are just now realizing their privilege and their ignorance, and that we focus on their intent. I don’t believe that it is ever too late for someone to try to become better a human or a better ally. I don’t suggest we run anyone away who truly wants to make changes and be a better person. Let’s be receptive to someone’s interests to learn and grow. We cannot define them simply based the way we see them protesting or the pace at which they are learning. Let’s open our hearts to them and not denounce them. I understand there is a stark difference between people posting support because it’s popular on instagram and people who genuinely care, but I believe that everyone’s true colors are shown eventually. Let’s breed love with love and accept anyone who truly wants to fight this fight with us.
And to anyone who is fighting for this movement. If you really believe that Black Lives Matter is a necessary fight to prove that All Lives Matter, then it is your duty to show up for all of the other marginalized people in this world. I do not condone asking for people to support us and give us equality, if we do intend to do the same for the rest of the marginalized people that don’t look like us or don’t share our experiences. It is just as important that you show up for the the trans people that are killed in the streets that no one ever talks about. I ask that you stand up for the undocumented, the DACA “dreamers” and the people with English as their second language. I ask that you show up for the disabled and the mentally ill. If you believe in BLM then you must believe in representation and equality for anyone who is oppressed or ignored in this country. Remember that when you are chanting “Equality for all”, that “all” means everyone, whether they look like you or not.
I love you all. Let’s continue to love, be understanding and be hopeful.
