I wore a bow tie today..

   I wore a bow tie to work today. A couple guys kinda gave me a hard time about it. I guess they kinda made fun of me. Both times I didn't really know how to respond so I just awkwardly walked away. I guess I was embarrassed. I wasn't ready. I wasn't confident.


   It's funny how a question as simple as "What's with the bow tie?" or the random eye brow raise as u walk into the office can make u question everything. Question who you are? What you represent? What you are trying to do? Who you actually wish you were? The idea that any expression of gender neutrality or any non normative fashion must be the effect of some extraneous life event or call for help is flawed and to be honest extremely saddening. Our society is stuck with the idea that dressing differently than you dressed yesterday or different than the people that look like you is somehow an outward call for help or attention. We're still stuck in a place where we fear diversity and change. We don't understand that there is no expiration on growth or change or self evolution. There is no expiration to figuring out your shit or becoming a different person with a new identity. You can accept change at any capacity and any age you choose.


   My hope for the world is that we learn to understand and accept that not all change is a disaster or a crisis. Sometimes change is a revelation. An act of courage. Sometimes someone's change is a reflection of them having the confidence to be the person they have been trying and wishing to be their entire life. When u are unintentional with your tone and your questions and your jokes you are indirectly disapproving of that change and more importantly you are diminishing that courage. Your words matter. Your tone matters. Your jokes have impact.


   I walk tall everywhere I go, with my chest out and my chin up. I'm surrounded by beautiful, important, amazing people who encourage me to be whoever the fuck I want, but the world is not entirely made up of people like that and unfortunately that is not everyone's experience. Confidence, security and freedom are not a guaranteed privilege in this country. So I challenge you to save your thoughts for a more crucial time of reflection. To filter your words, and be conscious of the fact that people change. Things change. The world evolves.


   Something's in life don't expire. I have a good idea of who I am, but my vision and understanding of myself could change tomorrow if I wanted it to. That is my right, and I encourage people to exercise theirs. 3 days ago we celebrated Transgender Day of Remembrance. I find it ironic that some people have no idea the meaning and importance behind that day, but they will remember and comment on the fact that I wore a fucking bow tie to work today. We have got to do better. We've got to start accepting people for who they are. We are running out of time...